Are we there yet? New Years Resolution
Can you believe we finished January 2024? Time has flown by but it is just the beginning.
So let’s talk about those New Years resolutions of yours.
I find at the beginning of the year the excitement of being our best selves is at the highest. We are motivated, we are committed, and goal oriented. As the year progresses, while those goals are still important to us, they start to take up less headspace and we slowly start to put it on the back burner. Can you relate?
Where does this motivation go? And why is it so short lived?
I see two factors that contribute to this. First, is the commitment to change. Change to better their inner and outer relationship, which can be highly valuable and honest. What becomes challenging is when we want to change to ‘get rid of’ something. Our self-critical part arrives and torments us about our failed attempts to change, therefore discouraging us from continuing to meet our goals because “I am not good enough.” In falling short of our goals, we head down the slippery slope of self-criticism, lack of motivation, and the darkness awaits.
Second, is the unrealistic goals that we set. Our overzealous parts live for excitement and motivation which means we start sprinting a marathon. And unless you are the world record holder of a marathon, this is not sustainable and we make empty promises to ourselves, perhaps leading into the “I am a failure” shame part when we recognize they are not suitable.
What these have in common are the honest attempt to upgrade and challenge ourselves, but without a realistic direction or self-compassion. In an attempt to better ourselves we can draw criticism to motivate but it only hurts us more.
What can be done?
Similar to having little snacks throughout the day, set many small goals throughout the year to achieve. Short and long-term goals.
Be compassionate with yourself. We ALL mess up every once and a while, but that’s okay because we are human. Not robots.
Have an accountability buddy who can hold you to your word.
Be ready to update an initial goal that might have been too easy or too hard.
Question for reflection:
Do your New Year's resolutions need an upgrade?
Are you being compassionate with yourself and reasonable?
Have you started working towards your goals?
